Arriving at the decision to pursue a divorce is inevitable in some circumstances, and rather than taking this as a defeat, couples should view this as an opportunity to gain closure and prepare for the next steps. Although as life goes, it’s one thing to understand something in theory and quite another to put in practice, especially when your emotions and lifestyle are so exposed. If you find yourself navigating these unchartered territories and looking for some guidance that is unbiased and constructive, let’s walk through the steps of reaching an amicable divorce. 

Ensure that you both are adequately represented

For an amicable divorce, you need to have the right representation and so does your spouse. Only then will a resolution be reached and respected by both parties and your lives can move on to that next chapter. Family lawyers in Melbourne will facilitate a fair mediation that will move forward with divorce proceedings accordingly so that you and your spouse can refrain from contact and have a professional represent your interests. This way dealings are all above board, and there is no opportunity to say or do things that cannot be taken back. Equal representation is key especially when both parties have brought different qualities, financial security and emotional support to the marriage.

 

Understand what you want and what is equitable

Divorce proceedings can unearth a myriad of feelings, which can feel like a rollercoaster when you don’t have any hard facts and frameworks in place to guide your decisions and negotiations. Reaching an amicable end won’t be sustainable if one party feels they have not got what the deserve, and so you should speak with your representation about what that looks like at the start of your journey and reiterate that outcome throughout the divorce process to keep your expectations on track. 

You might have heard that you are entitled to half, or you might have heard that you leave the marriage with what you came in with – the truth is, each situation is different and so are the divorce settlement outcomes.  Having clarity over what you are working towards will enable you to start making future plans, and it might even dictate how long your negotiations can go for. 

 

Mediation does not replace your own mental health practises

Mediation shares many practises and principles as other psychological services, but it shouldn’t replace your mental health needs if you feel that there are still unresolved issues beyond what is discussed in mediation. The divorce process might be the greatest adversity you have endured, and so you should explore mental health services (counselling or psychology) during the process so you are being heard and learning strategies in dealing with this impact. Without mental clarity, you can’t be looking out for yourself or others.

If you have children who are part of this divorce (and they ultimately always are on some level), that is even more reason to see someone, so they too can work through these changes and you can guide one another. However you feel about your own mental health, identifying and containing these feelings will give you a greater perspective during the divorce process and it will allow you to be vulnerable in a safe space rather than at work or in court.

No matter how you feel about your spouse, an amicable outcome is something you should both be striving for so that you can ensure the best fresh start. It’s also a mature way forward if there are children in the mix, as they have two care-givers and both should be communicating respectfully so that children can also emulate that behaviour and not take on any passive aggression.